Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

July 9, 2014 5 1632 News, Relationships, Sexuality

Bushwick’s at it again in terms of setting unexpected sexual precedents. The newest fad? Abstinence. The unlikely shift in the current salacious pattern has caused many outsider trollers a lot of pain after shlepping from other boroughs or parts of Brooklyn to get an easy lay, only to find Bushwickians are no longer spreading their legs. 

...or at all ...or ever

…or at all …or ever

One Queens resident, Rocco Simpleton, lamented to The Burning Bush, “What’s the point of coming to this shit hole if I can’t even find an easy piece of snatch?” Even the usually classier female demographic has been taking issue with the current elusiveness of Bushwick men. Gina Fukmi, a 22-year-old from New Jersey, stated, “I came all the way here, through the fuckin’ Holland Tunnel and I’m met with fuckin’ chastity belts? Never coming to Bushwick again.” While The Burning Bush admires bold moves, we have to wonder, somewhat worriedly, where all this pent up semen is going to end up. 

Written by Genna Rivieccio

Photo Credit: Fly Art