Anna Wintour Retracts Naming Bushwick Seventh Coolest Neighborhood in World After Admitting She Suffered from a Mild Bout of Amnesia While Compiling List

September 10, 2014 6 1572 Gentrification, News
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If you’ve been wondering about Anna Wintour’s strange love affair with Brooklyn lately–starting with her disgusting Vogue issue featuring Lena Dunham on the cover–we here at The Burning Bush have finally unearthed the reason.
Another strange behavior whilst Wintour suffered amnesia

Another strange behavior whilst Wintour suffered amnesia

Wintour, once notoriously chic and ahead of the curve in all things fashion and place, admitted that she had been suffering from a bout of amnesia induced by the delirium of her anorexia, resulting in her sullying the September issue (of all the issues to sully!) with the mention of Bushwick. Wintour released a statement through her publicist (as she would never speak directly to anyone, least of all The Burning Bush) in which she publicly apologized, “I have been reckless with my behavior, especially with regard to my sudden presumed zeal for [gagging] Bushwick. At the time of creating the list for the Coolest Neighborhoods in the World, I was not aware of who I was.”

Neither is living in Bushwick

Neither is living in Bushwick

Now that Wintour is back to normal thanks to an emergency food pellet, she has retracted Bushwick at number seven on the list and replaced it with the Monti neighborhood in Rome. Phew. That was close. For a second we thought we might have to pay out the asshole in rent to remain cool.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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