Regardless of how many new buildings crop up in this neighborhood, there will always be your standard overpriced shitholes. No matter how posh Bushwick is attempting to become, landlords and real estate agents/brokers can’t just wipe away the dinge (this refers to dinginess, not black people. You’ll know what I mean if you ever bothered to look up a definition).
“Look at this fabulous walk-up in the heart of Knickerbocker Avenue! Yes, modern appliances mean you have to provide your own hot plate, but you’ll be in Bushwick–the center of the art world!” said real estate agent Helen Deceiver, a 32-year-old who got in the wheelin’ and dealin’ game after her own artistic aspirations fell through, of a ramshackle abode near the Burger King that she’s advertising on Craig’s List.
Deceiver is just one of many helping Bushwickians constantly apologize for the state of their apartments. Tristan Ovender, a 25-year-old who lives in a three-bedroom railroad apartment with the ceiling caving in and a rotting shower wall explained that he’s in a state of nonstop rationalization of his existence to other people. “I’ll often say, ‘Oh, I’m just in between apartments. I’m moving soon, that’s why it’s such a mess.’ This is also the reason I never invite the same people over more than twice in a two-week span.” Ovender isn’t alone in his outpouring of excuses; for the majority of Bushwickians, saying sorry is a way of life–whether it’s for the lack of windows/natural light in your apartment, that strange smell that may or may not be a dead body coming from your next door neighbor’s or a lack of basic amenities like toilet paper because the cost couldn’t fit into your monthly household budget.
Written by Genna Rivieccio