Babeland To Open Bushwick Location In March 2015

February 19, 2015 1 660 bushwick, Bushwick Jobs, Hipster Commentary, Local Business, News, Sexuality, Uncategorized
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The debut of Bushwick’s Porn Film Festival has since paved the way for other emblems of perversity to dip their own gonads into the pool of Bushwick. Babeland, the popular sex toy store chain, has recently announced plans to open a new location in Bushwick next month.

The Butterfly Kiss is one of the more popular items for Babelands novice customers. The packaging is reminiscent of the toys of our childhood.

The Butterfly Kiss, a tool for the novice customers of Babeland. Notice the packaging reminiscent of the toys of childhood.

The CEO of Babeland, Kitty Lee Foxxx, told us that once she saw the current condition of Bushwick, she knew that she only had one sensible option. “We think that swooping in right after the Porn Film Festival will be just what Bushwick needs. Anyone capable of getting laid before May are those who already coupled up before winter hit, so there’s sure to be plenty of lonely damsels out here just yearning for some battery operated satisfaction. I mean, lets not forget about the 50 Shades movie that just came out. The pent up sexual frustration is far too unhealthy for the Bushwick community. We, at Babeland, would be doing a disservice not to provide readily accessible trinkets of love during Bushwick’s flaccid state of crisis.”

A Babeland customer is a happy customer!

A Babeland customer is a happy customer!

We spoke with Luna Lennox, a Bushwick dweller who identifies as “cybergoth,” and she expressed to us feelings of hope for Bushwick’s next big step into the venereal abyss. “It’s clear that Bushwick is trying to reclaim the seedy atmosphere that’s been lacking since the absence of Wreck Room. I’m totally all about it, though. The idea that I can walk right down the street and buy a lime green 11 inch strap on dildo whenever I please is a comforting feeling,” says Lennox.

Luna Lennox, 29 years old.

Luna Lennox, 29 years old.

Babeland is set to open on March 24th on Starr Street, just across from Tortilleria Mexicana Los Hermanos.

Written by Nicole Benson

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