Before it was an Arctic Monkeys song, it was protective clothing for your face. That’s why, with winter getting into full swing in Bushwick, a store specializing solely in the sale of balaclavas called Facials has opened on Central Avenue.
Unfortunately for the owner of the shop, Igor Mervinski, a 53-year-old from St. Petersburg (Florida, actually, not Russia), most Bushwickians have mistakenly–and rather surprisingly culturedly–assumed that this word actually means “baklava,” arguably the best aspect of Turkish cuisine.
“I went in with an insurmountable sweet tooth,” began Terri Gifford, a person of unclear gender. “And when I came out, I was wearing like a fucking glove on my head. I was so confused.” Luckily for Mervinski, he’s worked out a strategy where if you buy one balaclava you get one baklava free.
Written by Genna Rivieccio