If you’ve ever been to Miraculous on Broadway near Arion Place, you know that the vibe is decidedly, well, ratchet–in the best possible way. After all, who doesn’t love ratchet in a Bushwick evermore populated by wine and cheese bars and artisanal pop tart shops?
Unfortunately, part of the tradeoff for sustaining ratchet bar and grills is the occasional
cunt cat fight. The latest happened a few nights back after a regular attendee, Deirdre Scufflestarter, a 53-year-old woman who is rumored to go to Miraculous to pick up potential clients, was threatened by a younger woman’s presence at the usually all-male bar.
Fantasia Roundbun, a 36-year-old who strolled in like she owned the joint, instantly bristled Scufflestarter’s hen feathers. At first, she kept her cool, but when Roundbun strolled over to the pool table in order to bend over “just so” to rack up the balls, Scufflestarter lost it and started beating her with her Metro PCS phone. Roundbun, in turn, took out her Metro PCS phone and began to do the same. The two eventually had to be broken up by the bartender, Juan Peroni, who allowed it to go on for as long as it did in order to film a pixellated video of it on his own Metro PCS phone. Roundbun was taken to Woodhull for her injuries and, in the end, given 106 stitches on her busted face. So ladies, think twice before you impinge on Scufflestarter’s territory.
Written by Genna Rivieccio