Every year, we’re inundated with a new infuriating list of people who are important in Brooklyn–whether they’re under 30 or simply part of a race-baiting breakdown of who influences what. The latest comes from Brooklyn Magazine, which features a fair enough range of locals including music producers, museum directors and, of all professions, writers.
While a few Bushwick notables made the list, there was one resident in particular, a certain hostess/party girl by the name of Basique Beech who was horrified to go through the entire article only to find, “I wasn’t even fucking 100. I could’ve at least been 100. ‘Cause I am 100, in the emoji sense of the word. I mean, where does BK Mag think most of the men in this borough are getting their blow jobs from, huh?” Beech took her complaints to several others in Bushwick, mostly patrons of Dear Bushwick of a somewhat wealthier income tax bracket that also felt their financial prowess should have at least made them contenders for being members of the most influential people in Brooklyn culture.
“I chose to join Basique outside of what we thought was the Brooklyn Magazine headquarters in Williamsburg–ugh, that place–but I guess we later found out it was actually just the VICE building…we didn’t think it was a total loss though, there’s plenty of overpriced bars around there to prove to everyone how much clout we’ve got in Brooklyn.” Basique, on the other hand, ended up killing a stray editorial intern walking to the Starbucks. What it all goes to show, The Burning Bush guesses, is that lists can only hurt, never help. So let’s keep making them.
Written by Genna Rivieccio