Bed Bugs: The Latest Drug Craze

April 17, 2014 1 7894 Local Business, News, Parties

Not much can hold a candle to the absurdity of America’s latest legal “drug” craze. From snorting bath salts to huffing jenkem, the United States’ War on Drugs is driving the overly insistent law abiding citizens of America to the very brink of their dignity, that is, if they even have any even left. What was once a pest and nuisance is now apparently something that you can use to totally trip balls, dude.

It’s bed bugs and if you have ever stepped foot into Bushwick, then you know that we’ve got that shit on deck, particularly in the McKibbin lofts. People of Bushwick are smoking, snorting, and injecting the critters and some people have been said to hide in their loft buildings during fumigation in order to get SUPER ripped. Geneva Dilettante, a 43 year old performance artist, was in her living room at 255 McKibbin after a fumigation party when we attempted to interview her about her experience. Dilettante was unresponsive. It has become pretty obvious that there is absolutely no limit to the lengths that people will go to escape the reality of their painfully mundane existence. Buggy riding, biting, squeaking, and crawling are all street terms for “doing” bed bugs. “I’m buggin’ out man,” is probably the most common phrase that refers to being high on the bed bugs. It is not exactly your typical, everyday designer drug, but it should not be long before the local drug dealers capitalize on Bushwick’s newest trend.

People, filling bags to fill orders.

People, filling bags to fill orders.

In fact, it seems that some already have started to. One dealer, who wishes to remain anonymous, said that even some convenience stores in the area, such as Brooklyn Natural, are going to be in on the bed bug trade as well, supplementing revenue to make up for money lost from not being able to sell cigarettes. “Cocaine is out, weed is out, molly is out too, but bed bugs is in. People be gettin’ in on that shit now while its still hot, gotta trap, gotta make that paper,” says the source. Along with all of the hype about bed bugs comes the resurgence of dusting, because since everyone is starting to dress like it’s the nineties, they might as well fully emulate the grunge persona of self-deprecation by dusting their faces off.

“Cause that’s what gangsters do.”

Written by Nicole Benson

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