Beekeeping Class at 4th Ward Goes Horribly Awry

June 16, 2014 3 1556 Local Business, News
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As The Burning Bush previously reported, 4th Ward has been acting as the latest replacement for the now defunct 3rd Ward. Among other classes besides DIY genital attachment, 4th Ward has also been dabbling in a beekeeping course that’s met with an intense backlash. In fact, the entire neighborhood is buzzing over why anyone would want to prove how esoteric they are by taking a beekeeping class in the first place.

One man, Jimmy Diquay, took the class just so he could pull out the parlor trick of having some bees form a beard on command

One man, Jimmy Diquay, took the class just so he could pull out the parlor trick of having some bees form a beard on command

The third class into the four-month course, students began mishandling their bees, which is why you’ve heard so much about the swarms leaving their hives to go hang out at Roberta’s. While the instructor of the course, Honey Badger, assured The Burning Bush, “These bees are nonviolent, harmless creatures,” we encountered an innocent bystander who begs to differ. Ryan Comb, a Midwesterner staying at New York Loft Hostel, approached The Burning Bush with a bee-stung face that, frankly, made us want to vomit. And he claims he’s not the only one who has suffered. “The friends I made while eating at one of Roberta’s communal tables also got attacked. These bees are extremely aggressive, and I would avoid Moore Street until they’re contained.”

Comb's disgusting skin after being stung multiple times.

Comb’s disgusting skin after being stung multiple times.

In spite of Honey Badger’s continued assuagements that the bees will naturally find their way back to the class, the locals have taken to calling the swarm the “Killer Queens of Bushwick” (though this title could apply to several other factions in the neighborhood). The Burning Bush will continue to report on any fatalities.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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