Beer Belly Outbreak Lends Market Opportunity for More Gyms in Bushwick

July 21, 2014 3 5308 Gentrification, Hipster Commentary, News

A lot of men think that they’re immune to the most common male affliction: the beer belly. But, alas, in Bushwick, no one–not even women–is safe from the subtle bulge that seems to be peeking out evermore prominently from beneath their shirt. The quite literal surge in beer bellies throughout the neighborhood has been not only beneficial to the bars profiting from them, but also gym franchises strongly eyeing the area to profit off Bushwickians’ simultaneous alcoholic weakness and undeniable vanity.

The real price you pay for beer

The real price you pay for beer

The Burning Bush had the opportunity to speak with Harry Bellay, the owner of a gym based out of Baltimore called Fat Fuck. Bellay expressed his plans to open up a location on the corner of Flushing and Bushwick Avenue, where building for the project has already gotten underway by the Fountainhead brothers. Bellay felt inclined to specially mention that the location was strategic. “We’re not sure if other gyms planning to open in the area have really considered all of the temptations in the area nearby. We chose Flushing and Bushwick because there’s absolutely nothing on this corner to be tempted by except Carrera’s.” Another gym geared toward women, The Pudgy Hipster, is opening on the ether known as Cook Street. Incentives to join include a special Momo sushi bar menu and a clothing store featuring exclusive workout outfits by Mary Meyer.

Women get beer bellies, too...or are they just pregnant women who don't give a fuck about drinking?

Women get beer bellies, too…or are they just pregnant women who don’t give a fuck about drinking?

More gyms are on the horizon in 2015, too. Potential investors have taken a shine to opening DIY gyms like Pump Away the Plump, Bushwick Frailty, Alcoholic’s Bane, Beer Recovery Center and Stomach Stapling Solutions. Many classes at these gyms also employ the somewhat cruel exercise class of lifting unopened beer cans while running in place. The biweekly workout is called AA. Interestingly, most of the classes offered at these gyms don’t seem to highlight working out the stomach region at all.

Written by Genna Rivieccio, Fat Assio at Large/St. Fatso of Assisi