Champs Diner is not for your average Bushwickian. It is the sort of place that attracts that in-betweener demographic: that dubious person who can’t quite decide if they’re firmly in the Williamsburg camp or the Bushwick one, therefore opting for “East Williamsburg,” near the Grand and Montrose stops. One such indecisive sort was local vegan, Chanda Veghedelman, a 24-year-old originally from Albany, who has become an unrecognizable version of herself.
“I was going to Champs every day, ordering what I assumed were all vegan options. I was getting the pancake bowl most mornings, thinking that the fact it had ‘soysage’ in it would be enough to offset whatever else was in the mix. But, as you can see from my figure, this simply wasn’t the case.” Veghedelman, who was sitting at Champs when we spoke to her, couldn’t help but resist a bite of the tempeh bacon in front of her after concluding her sentiment.
A server at Champs, Ned MedioCre, a 29-year-old who occasionally moonlights as a tarot reader, commented on Veghedelman’s predicament–taking no responsibility on the part of Champs for any wrongdoing. “Vegan foods aren’t necessarily healthy, especially if you’re shoveling it in the way Veghedelman does. She’s here more than I am. She might as well fucking work here. If you ask me, that bitch deserves to be fat.” While it seems like a case of he said, she said, The Burning Bush recommends temperance when it comes to your food intake–vegan or otherwise.
Written by Genna Rivieccio