Beyoncé & Jay-Z Dine at Roberta’s: Illuminati Meeting?

May 19, 2014 2 7802 Gentrification, News
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Unless if you live in a pathetic, desolate world, isolated from friends or internet access, then surely you’ve heard about all of the crazy shit that’s been going down in the Knowles-Carter family. What comes as even more of a shocker are the eye witness accounts and photographic evidence placing Beyoncé and Jay-Z at the scene of Roberta’s Pizza last Sunday night on what appeared to be a rather… peculiar outing. Could their perplexing choice of location be a part of a bogus attempt to appear super casual while trying to cover up some top secret subject matter?

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Onlooker and Roberta’s regular, Pat Boomer says that before Knowles “stormed” out, her and Carter were speaking to one another in a cryptic, unknown language, possibly that of the underground secret society known as the Illuminati. “Beyonce was sipping from a wineglass and gazing at Jay-Z with a smirk on her face and a sinister glow in her eyes. After they were speaking in this strange alien language, they both began cackling uncontrollably. Suddenly, Beyonce got up out of her seat and abruptly took off. It must have been Sasha Fierce taking over.”

Oh, snap.

Oh, snap.

One witness has even claimed that Beyoncé actually danced out while singing her 2009 hit single, “Single Ladies.” While this display would be a magnificent impromptu performance, the allegation has yet to be confirmed.

Written By Nicole Benson

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