Boys Go to Jupiter Disco to Get Stupider (& Hopefully Get Beamed Up in a Spaceship)

November 26, 2016 Comments Off on Boys Go to Jupiter Disco to Get Stupider (& Hopefully Get Beamed Up in a Spaceship) 342 Food
Share!

A dystopian interplanetary nexus for men to flout their dicks in? Nothing could be more Bushwick appropriate. Celebrating decay and rich people’s impending exodus to outer space, Jupiter Disco is where boys and (even) girls alike go to get just a little stupider–as in drunker–so as to forget their ailing woes.

Last days of (Jupiter) disco

Last days of (Jupiter) disco

The owner of the bar Marteen Aylyeen, a 45-year-old with a natural love of sci-fi novels and films, explained to The Burning Bush, “I find that, with each passing day, we’re getting closer and closer to the end of the earth–the end of humanity. Jupiter Disco celebrates that fact, and encourages extremely poor decisions. Because, fuck it, you’re probably going to blow up or go broke tomorrow.”

Beam me up

Beam me up

Many patrons thus far have echoed Aylyeen’s sentiments, with some even going so far as to say, “I actually think Marteen has a spaceship in the basement, and if you get close enough with her, she’ll take you for a ride the fuck outta this hell hole.” In any case, while you’re “getting stupid” at the bar, you can also take comfort in the environs of your decor, accurately presaging doomsday on this earth.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

Comments are closed.