Brooklyn Fire Proof East Closes Due to Its Location in the Bermuda Triangle of Bushwick

November 26, 2014 3 555 Bars, Local Business, News, Restaurants
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Beloved venue, restaurant and bar, Brooklyn Fire Proof East, has shuttered its doors thanks to, let’s face it, a shitty location. Situated in the Bermuda Triangle of Bushwick at Ingraham Street and Porter Avenue, Brooklyn Fire Proof never really had a prayer–plus it tacked the word “East” onto its name, adding to the confusion of its navigability. 

The Bermuda Triangle of Bushwick

The Bermuda Triangle of Bushwick

The owner of the establishment, Joey Cloolis, a 45-year-old who made the mistake of not giving enough of a fuck about promotion, sighed to The Burning Bush, “Maybe I should have tried harder to be part of the scene. But I kind of thought opening up our space to talentless musicians and writers would make the place untouchable. Plus, that five dollar brunch. Come the fuck on, what else do they want?”
The DIY paradise has left us for good

The DIY paradise has left us for good

It’s unclear as to whether Brooklyn Fire Proof Stages, across the street from the bar/restaurant, will remain open since they’re used by entities like the Food Network to film TV shows, but, as for Brooklyn Fire Proof itself, well, it may be fire proof, but sadly not fail-proof. Perhaps, in the future, when the Triangle is more heavily infiltrated by other overpriced food and drink facilities, Brooklyn Fire Proof will be vindicated for blazing the trail of the geographical path less traveled.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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