In a neighborhood with an ever-lessening amount of grit, a new and startling trend has taken Bushwickians by storm: that of missing teeth. And the way they’ve set out to attain them will shock you beyond belief: by actually paying someone to punch them “just so.”
As if New York needed another under the table job title to add to its endless arsenal (fluffer included), a new economic opportunity vaguely reminiscent of Fight Club has sprung up. And it all stems from a current Bushwickian desire to feel just a little bit less like a well-groomed, overly coiffed pussy.
That being said, one of the hottest trends since the Mennonite chic craze hit town is also the riskiest business yet. Shelly Addlebury, a 28-year-old from Greenwich, spoke to the popularity of the movement by remarking, “I don’t know, there’s just something to be said for the rough-hewn edge of having a missing tooth, and I was tired of people treating me like I’m some rich Miss Priss from Connecticut. Even though I am.” So while it might seem like an extreme length to go through for the sole purpose of getting an aura of wizenedness, one can’t really put a price on the facade of bad assery. To find your go-to tooth knocker outter, simply walk anywhere right off the Jefferson or Morgan stop to find a “discreet” flier advertising the service using the image of Valeria Luiselli’s The Story of My Teeth book cover.
Written by Genna Rivieccio