After an epic rally staged by We the Femmes, who previously started a feminist bocce ball league, as well as the Smallest Labia Contest, Congresswoman Amanda Strumpet–the foremost leader of the 12th Congressional District of which Bushwick is a part of–has given in to legalizing prostitution.
The news came as a delight to whores throughout Bushwick, as well as a surprise to most other feminist groups who feel that We the Femmes are promoting the objectification of women. The latest leader to rise to prominence within the group, Uga Antisexx, a 42-year-old who spends most days working at the Park Slope Food Co-op, was the main champion of We the Femmes’ pro-prostitute platform.
With Bushwickian women already somewhat loose in their morals, many detractors of the movement have scoffed that would-be prostitutes are going to be incapable of giving it up for money–since they’re already so willing to do so for free. Fortunately, Antisexx will be holding a seminar at her “shared living space” in Castlebraid to instruct aspiring Bushwick prostitutes on the best practices for successful money-making. The seminar will be held this Tuesday, July 1 at 9 p.m., followed by a practice streetwalking run-through.
Written by Genna Rivieccio