Even though the sun has only been dimly shining these past few days, Bushwick girls are already making up for lost time by dressing like hoes thanks to one of the longest winters in New York City history.
“Yeah, it’s still in the forty degree range, but I can take it. The faint cold is worth it to be able to show off my body again. It’s been hidden for way too long, and how are boys supposed to know they wanna fuck me if they can’t see my skin?” said Kimberlee Flowerbud, a 20-year-old who moved here from Akron, where she made regular appearances in a Devo hat while stripping.
Thus far, reactions on the street by men still wearing jeans and light jackets to make the proper seasonal transition have been very favorable indeed. “For awhile there, I had forgotten what a slut looked like. Now I remember: booty shorts and ‘tops’ that are actually just bras,” stated John Lust, a 28-year-old busboy at Momo. If the pre-spring clothing aesthetic is any indication of how bare Bushwick girls are willing to get, The Burning Bush expects full-fledged nudity on the streets by the time summer rolls around.
Written by Genna Rivieccio