Bushwick Open Studios thought it was going to be so clever in relocating its time frame to fall. “It’ll be more sophisticated,” they said. “It will only attract those who truly care about art,” they insisted. Well, lo and behold, it seemed as though the organizers forgot to take into account the most age-old problem plaguing man: the elements.
Yes, The Committee to Make BoS Posher Than Victoria Beckham truly fucked up in this regard, failing to take into account how sensitive lily-livered Bushwickians are to weather, in addition to those outer-neighborhood types who weren’t about to shlep to the area to get rained on when they could do that with the dick they already had in their apartment (Upper West Side ilk, you know).
“I was thinkething about makething my way downeth to the godforsaken inferno to vieweth the type of art that mighteth fetch me some doubloons down the way, but the fall’s dew simply kept me at bay,” explained Meredith Moolah, a 23-year-old socialite who grew up in Manhattan and went to the Lycée Français de New York. Many of her ex-classmates echoed the sentiment, and did not attend Bushwick Open Studios thanks to the atrocious weather.
Written by Genna Rivieccio