Everyone’s favorite time of year, Bushwick Open Studios, is getting a massive change that could alter its very nature: being moved from the summertime in June to the “more respectable” fall month of October. The Committee to Make BoS Posher Than Victoria Beckham is the primary catalyst behind this unexpected–and somewhat outraging–alteration.
“We just think that Bushwick Open Studios has reached the point where it’s become too high-brow to be during the summer. All those sweaty bodies result in often ill-dressed, unkempt-looking people showing up to the galleries…and random table setups outside. Plus, fall is just a more respectable season in general,” noted one of the committee members, Martha Oppalent, a 43-year-old who formerly volunteered at the Met.
Complaints from both artists and art fuckers (a.k.a. people who gravitate toward “art” purely to feel as though they, too, are artists) alike have already expressed extreme dissatisfaction with this schedule change. “October is already a really intense month for me. It’s basically like I’m gonna be drunk every day/weekend until the end of Halloween. I might actually die,” stated candlemaker Frank Asiago. And you know if Asiago fears death from too much debauchery in one month, then everyone else should too. Here’s hoping the committee reconsiders its decision to change the entire personality of BoS with the single shift of a calendar date.
Written by Genna Rivieccio