Bushwick Residents to Make Their Own Version of 50 Shades of Grey

February 26, 2015 Comments Off on Bushwick Residents to Make Their Own Version of 50 Shades of Grey 1028 Film
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With a porn festival now under their belt, as well as the continued multiplication of iniquity over by the English Kills, it’s no great shock that a number of filmically-inclined Bushwickians have gotten together to fund and create 50 Shades of Bushwick, a far more obscene version of the popularly hated 50 Shades of Grey.

Promo poster for 50 Shades of Bushwick

Promo poster for 50 Shades of Bushwick

Writer/director/producer/actor Hayden Intuheemself, a 24-year-old from Van Nuys, explained to The Burning Bush, “The sexual steez in Bushwick is raunchier than anything a middle-aged Englishwoman could imagine. So I thought, ‘Why not combine the best of porn with the best of Bushwick and create a plot around it?'” When asked if the rumors about Miley Cyrus being the star were true, Intuheemself balked, “Na, I gave her a cameo role. I don’t want her presence to distract people from the narrative.”

The film will be shot in black and white, of course

The film will be shot in black and white, of course

What that narrative is, exactly, seems to be under wraps, though we have been told by a mole at Kings County that a sexually explicit scene was shot on the stage in their bar, and included a character named Christiana Grey beating the shit out of her male submissive. Other confirmed “stars” of the movie include Lena Dunham, Zosia Mamet and Penn Badgley (so, basically no one you would want to see in the buff). The estimated budged for the project¬†is 1.6 million dollars, with most of the funding coming from Intuheemself’s trust fund. But he’s going to need a lot more than that to deal with a lawsuit from the filmmaker of Les Drunks claiming that he ripped his entire premise off.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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