Like most every other show set in New York for the past five years, Broad City finds it essential to shoot scenes for season three in North Brooklyn. For a portion of an episode that will be set in front of and inside of Swallow, Abbi and Ilana have opted for the location in Williamsburg as opposed to Bushwick.
“We were a bit affronted when we found out that the Broad City broads chose the Williamsburg location over ours,” stated current manager Shiftay Secondbest, a 29-year-old who recently took over after the falling down the stairs fiasco of 2014. “Not only is our space bigger, but it’s been here longer–it’s the bona fide real thing, not some Dregs, er, Driggs Avenue knockoff.” Her sadness over the snub is shared not only by her employees, but by Bushwickian regulars at the cafe and watchers of the show.
“I just don’t understand,” whined Lorna Tourmentid, a 23-year-old freelancer who spends most of her days typing away at the Swallow off the Morgan Avenue L. “I mean, is this not the place that’s known for the best blow job ever? What could be more enticing than that–apart from Bushwick fans being way more fucking legit than Williamsburg ones?” With tensions already running high between the Williamsburg and Bushwick branches of the cafe, it was unwise of the Williamsburg manager, Murray Pampas, to gloat, “Maybe they wanted to be around people who actually, like, dress themselves and don’t smell like they just crawled out of a sewer.” At this rate, the divide between Williamsburg and Bushwick is becoming a lot like Beverly Hills and Hollywood.
Written by Genna Rivieccio