Bushwickian Killed By Scent of Slowly Driving By Sanitation Truck

July 3, 2015 Comments Off on Bushwickian Killed By Scent of Slowly Driving By Sanitation Truck 512 News
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Anyone who has lived in certain parts of New York long enough is well aware that the noxious scent of trash and sewage can be quite overpowering. In fact, the cutting odors of NYC humanity has left one woman, Shireen Marquez, a 33-year-old with particularly sensitive nostrils, on her deathbed.

The offending garbage truck

The offending garbage truck

While walking along the Bed-Stuy/Bushwick border (an especially stank patch of Brooklyn land) at the corner of Willoughby Avenue and Broadway, Marquez–with her groceries from Food Bazaar in tow–was bowled over by the stench of a garbage truck traveling at .01 miles an hour.

Marquez on her deathbed

Marquez on her deathbed

With no one willing to help Marquez off the ground for fear of losing their own lives, it was about thirty minutes until a brave soul by the name of Harvey Grainger, who waited until the truck was almost completely off the street before lending his aid, rushed over to Marquez to get her up off the ground and to the hospital. She has since been lying on her deathbed, murmuring silently about smelling Satan. If there are any Jean-Baptiste Grenouille types who might be able to assist her with a better aroma to make her forget what her nostrils apprehended, please email burningbushwick@gmail.com.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

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