It’s no secret that there’s been an ongoing rivalry between Bushwick and Williamsburg for quite some time now. At first, it was over which location had the most cachet when it came to DIY music venues. But now that Williamsburg has made it abundantly clear it plans only to cater to the non-arts loving rich, Bushwick has emerged the victor in this category. Thus, the beef between neighborhoods now stems from how much of a sellout Williamsburg has become, and the fear on Bushwick’s part that it will soon become just the same.
In an effort to combat this inevitability, the primary suspect in the recent Williamsburg fire that was set off yesterday at a document storage facility on Kent Avenue, Noel Arsoniste, a 27-year-old half-English, half-Haitian, set CitiStorage ablaze with his Bic lighter featuring an image of the Statue of Liberty. According to an eye witness, Arsoniste “seemed drunk as he was setting the fire, stumbling and muttering to himself as he did so.” After the witness saw him leave behind his lighter, Arsoniste didn’t have a prayer for anonymity.
After Arsoniste was arrested on charges of first degree arson at his apartment on Himrod Street and Cypress Avenue, he was quoted as saying, “Williamsburg deserves to burn! How could it have allowed itself to devolve into what it’s become? I’ll be damned if I let the same thing happen to Bushwick.” Authorities are currently working to get to the bottom of whether or not Arsoniste was on any substances during the time of setting the fire. This would greatly help his lawyer in getting him sentenced with fewer charges, ergo allowing Arsoniste to be released just in time to set Bushwick on fire when it’s finally too unrecognizably gentrified for him to handle.
Written by Genna Rivieccio