Bushwickians Can’t Drunkenly Retrace Their Steps Home in Wake of Consistent Snowfall

March 4, 2015 Comments Off on Bushwickians Can’t Drunkenly Retrace Their Steps Home in Wake of Consistent Snowfall 978 Bars, News
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“I thought I was following the right path home, but my footsteps had been covered up by the snow, so I couldn’t tell anymore. I ended up in Ridgewood.” So went the plight of Eddie Mundayne, just one of many Bushwickians struggling to retrace their footsteps back home in the wake of constant snowfall.

It's a footstep crapshoot

It’s a footstep crapshoot

The snow began to disperse itself lightly–at first–last night at prime bar time. “Usually, when it’s summer, I can Hansel and Gretel that shit with some lines of hot honey, but in winter, I rely on footprints,” noted Andrew Klever, a 39-year-old who knows the ins and outs of drunken stumbling in a directionless manner at this point in his life.

Some Bushwickians have even taken to putting their body prints in the snow to make retracing their steps easier

Some Bushwickians have even taken to putting their body prints in the snow to make retracing their steps easier

With the majority of our “quaint town” covered in snow (with plenty more to come tonight), most residents have been walking around aimlessly since last evening following any sign of a footprint to lead them back home. Luckily for a large majority, the bar is already their home to begin with

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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