It’s no secret that Bushwickians will look for any reason to throw a party. Between 4/20 and Earth Day in the same week, residents have had quite a busy schedule of indulgence. The ill-advised Earth Day celebration, called Planet Party, is, once again, being held at Silent Barn, which already recently had a planet-themed fête. Nonetheless, being that this is the place you go when you want to hold a frivolous event that no one will say no to, Planet Party is an all-day extravaganza that’s already caused quite a stir.
Early reports of a massive trash overflow spewing out of every recess of Silent Barn have left environmental activists outraged on a day they’re supposed to be tranquil. One activist bystander, Melissa Militant, a 29-year-old hempseed grower, shrieked to The Burning Bush, “This entire town should be executed for crimes against Earth. How can these people claim they’re ‘celebrating’ our planet when all they’re doing is destroying it?”
Reports of discarded liquor bottles, beer cans, pizza boxes, Hops & Hocks DIY kits and clothes taken off in the heat of passion throughout the streets surrounding Silent Barn have been trickling through our inbox all day. The question now is, will Bushwick survive to see another Earth Day, or transform into a quarantined epicenter of filth and radioactivity?
Written by Genna Rivieccio