Anna Wintour is no longer just on Grace Coddington’s shit list. She’s now managed to piss off an entire neighborhood. Even though she previously recanted her statement on naming Bushwick the seventh coolest neighborhood in the world, the hype surrounding it was already too great to quell.
As a result, there’s been an overnight 23% increase in all rents throughout Bushwick. This sudden blow to everyone’s already thin wallet (how are we all supposed to stay unemployed at this rate?) has caused an unprecedented uproar in that Bushwickians are actually deigning to leave the neighborhood–not to move, but to go to Midtown to give Wintour no end in their shit storm of rage.
With her powers of foresight (or just the instantaneous results one gets from having money and influence), a fortress of security guards has been surrounding the building since early this afternoon. Their resolve in guarding Wintour, however, has been gradually deteriorating throughout the day as Bushwickians have incessantly spit beer into their faces from the reserve of cans they’ve been swilling.
One Wintour protester, Ann Fashionless, seethed to The Burning Bush, “We’re not leaving till she writes us all a check for the difference in rent she’s caused.” But if The Burning Bush knows anything about Wintour, and we don’t, it’s likely that she’d sooner spend her money on redesigning the interior of her new office at the Freedom Tower.
Written by Genna Rivieccio