With Bushwick’s many California tendencies and residents, the fiendieshness and excitement over 4/20 (sometimes known as Hitler’s birthday to certain neo-Nazis), it was to be expected that the weed supply in the area would be tested to its fullest on Monday. However, no drug dealer could have anticipated that he would be sucked completely dry. Yet, it makes sense considering how many Bushwickians still suck on their parents’ tits.
Grim Deelitez, one of the foremost drug dealers in Bushwick, was willing to speak to The Burning Bush yet again (he’s a sucker sexual favors) to tell us, “I ran out of weed around 1 p.m., which be rill early in stoner time, na mean? Like, I didn’t even know what to do wit da rest of my day. I just been chillin’ at Heels.” Elsewhere, the supply was also totally dry in the McKibbin, but luckily, you can get high off the residual fumes in there anyway.
Especially late stoners to the 4/20 game were reported as sobbing on the streets in droves after learning that they had arrived too tardy, and therefore couldn’t “get retarded,” as the Black Eyed Peas once said before changing the name of their song to “Let’s Get It Started.” One such stoner, Rudy Oonuhwayre, a 33-year-old ice cream scooper at the Tasti D-Lite on Bedford Avenue, rued, “I’ve never been this sober in my life. Least of all on 4/20. I didn’t even have the foresight to bake some goddamn cookies like Janey Reef. And I couldn’t get invited over to her apartment ’cause I gave her HPV last year.” Alas, we must all make sexual tradeoffs that end up sacrificing our connects sometimes.
Written by Genna Rivieccio