Bushwick’s Worst Bathrooms to Fuck In

May 24, 2014 6 2408 Local Business, Relationships
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Finding a place to fuck in privacy can be pretty difficult when you have roommates/a shitty apartment/a blanket acting as a mattress. That’s why it’s important to know your Bushwick bathrooms. Believe it or not, there are some pretty decent places to fuck in. Not that we’re advocating this gauche practice, but, you know, if the mood ever strikes you…don’t fuck in the following places to avoid the contraction of some fatal STD.

Enjoy the happy hour, not the bathroom

Enjoy the happy hour, not the bathroom

Bossanova: Way too compact. You can basically only eat someone out in there.

Gonorrhea awaits at Goodbye Blue Monday

Gonorrhea awaits at Goodbye Blue Monday

Goodbye Blue Monday: It’s not that there isn’t enough space for fucking, but there’s a general lack of arousing ambience.

The exterior should give you some indication of the interior

The exterior should give you some indication of the interior

Gotham City Lounge: Everyone can hear you fucking. It’s really uncomfortable.

Plunger adds to ambience

Plunger adds to ambience

Kings County: You’re bound to get the good old-fashioned HIV disease from this bathroom.

Too compact. Might as well join the mile high club.

Too compact. Might as well join the mile high club.

Tandem: There’s a weird smell and there’s something decidedly gas chamber-like about the way the stalls are structured.

Nothing gets you in the mood like the heavy scent of urine as you fuck

Nothing gets you in the mood like the heavy scent of urine as you fuck

Wreck Room: After you swim through the river of piss and deal with the mugging, you’ll probably be out of the mood.

Written by Genna Rivieccio, who isn’t completely ashamed to say she’s fucked in one or more of these bathrooms

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