Finding a place to fuck in privacy can be pretty difficult when you have roommates/a shitty apartment/a blanket acting as a mattress. That’s why it’s important to know your Bushwick bathrooms. Believe it or not, there are some pretty decent places to fuck in. Not that we’re advocating this gauche practice, but, you know, if the mood ever strikes you…don’t fuck in the following places to avoid the contraction of some fatal STD.
Bossanova: Way too compact. You can basically only eat someone out in there.
Goodbye Blue Monday: It’s not that there isn’t enough space for fucking, but there’s a general lack of arousing ambience.
Gotham City Lounge: Everyone can hear you fucking. It’s really uncomfortable.
Kings County: You’re bound to get the good old-fashioned HIV disease from this bathroom.
Tandem: There’s a weird smell and there’s something decidedly gas chamber-like about the way the stalls are structured.
Wreck Room: After you swim through the river of piss and deal with the mugging, you’ll probably be out of the mood.
Written by Genna Rivieccio, who isn’t completely ashamed to say she’s fucked in one or more of these bathrooms