Cain’s Tavern Replaced by Abel’s Alehouse

July 23, 2015 1 826 Bars

As any business that’s been around in Bushwick for more than a year can tell you, re-branding is key to tricking residents into believing that the neighborhoods is still “edgy” and “trending.” That’s why five-year-old bar Cain’s Tavern is quietly closing to reemerge as Abel’s Alehouse.

The once hallowed exterior of Cain's

The once hallowed exterior of Cain’s

“We didn’t want to stray so far away from our original name that people totally forgot about us. Better to at least stay in their subconscious by bringing out the flip side to Cain: Abel,” noted bar manager Lorrie Biblicalle, a 28-year-old from Missoula who briefly majored in theological studies at an unknown college.

Image taken from bowl devoid of corn nuts

Image taken from bowl devoid of corn nuts

While some patrons are wise to the strategy, others are acting as though Abel’s Alehouse is the hottest thing since a Jessica Simpson catch phrase. “I just love their assortment of reasonly priced ales and the fact that they have corn nuts out in bowls with images of Cain killing Abel on them. It makes me feel cultured somehow while I’m getting wasted,” gushed Lindsee Godlez, a 23-year-old who has never read the Book of Genesis. While few have caught on to the fact that Abel’s Alehouse is really just Cain’s Tavern with a new sign and marketing tactic, regulars have relished the irony. “I like how they’ve flipped the script a little bit. It was Cain who killed Abel, not the other way around. But they’re subverting that notion by having Abel kill Cain in the bar sense,” remarked Dave Drunky, a 38-year-old who looks like Judah Friedlander. Yes, there is indeed a poetry to bar culture.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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