MTA

MTA Cracks Down On Letting People Commit Spiteful Suicide on L Train Tracks

October 26, 2017 Comments Off on MTA Cracks Down On Letting People Commit Spiteful Suicide on L Train Tracks 159

In spite of the fact that MTA hasn’t delivered on...

More People Dissatisfied With Sex Lives Taking to Subway to Be Assaulted

June 8, 2017 Comments Off on More People Dissatisfied With Sex Lives Taking to Subway to Be Assaulted 238

In the wake of a report about subway sex crimes...

Man Who Tried to Steal Baby on J Train Just Thought It Was Actually Baby J

April 12, 2017 Comments Off on Man Who Tried to Steal Baby on J Train Just Thought It Was Actually Baby J 322

Baby theft isn’t anything new. In fact, it’s how some...

Rogue Woman Pulls Forrest Gump Move By Simply Just Walking on J Train Tracks Toward Manhattan, Prompts MTA to Offer Higher Frequency of Trains

March 2, 2017 Comments Off on Rogue Woman Pulls Forrest Gump Move By Simply Just Walking on J Train Tracks Toward Manhattan, Prompts MTA to Offer Higher Frequency of Trains 263

Remember that moment in Forrest Gump when the oafish but...

Inflatable Condom Idea to Accommodate L Train Shutdown Vetoed Because “Bushwickians Would Try To Fuck It”

June 16, 2016 1 438

Among the latest to join the countless L train substitution...

Bushwick to Revert to Warriors-Like State As L Train Shutdown Approaches

June 1, 2016 1 471

Though the MTA has proposed numerous “solutions” to the problem...

MTA Continues to Try Cushioning L Train Blow With Venice-Inspired Gondola Transportation

May 5, 2016 4 414

Lately, it seems as though there’s nothing the MTA won’t...

What Where You Sit on the Train Says About You

April 29, 2016 Comments Off on What Where You Sit on the Train Says About You 398

A recent study conducted by the Committee to Determine Why...

M Train to People Near It: Fuck Off

April 18, 2016 Comments Off on M Train to People Near It: Fuck Off 357

The M train has just about had it with every...

Hillary Initiates New “Chip-Design” MetroCard After Swiping Debacle

April 11, 2016 1 399

Like debit and credit cards, the MTA’s MetroCard design will...