Catland Tarot Reader Has Disturbing Vision of Bushwickians With Tattoos When They’re Olds

February 12, 2015 1 1715 Art, Hipster Commentary, News

While Catland has yet for its last disturbing prediction about a Bushwick apocalypse in 2015 to come true, the latest prophecy to come out of the local Wiccan-friendly store has caused an equal amount of alarm. This time, the prediction comes from a novice to the tarot and crystal ball scene, Yuri Spoonbender, a 29-year-old from Romania.

Part of Spoonbender's horrific vision

Part of Spoonbender’s horrific vision

Spoonbender beheld his horrific vision last evening at approximately 7:11 p.m. while looking into local candlemaker Psy Ko‘s future. Ko, who has a number of tattoos, including a dripping wax sleeve down his arm, noticed that Spoonbender was acting particularly troubled about what he was seeing. 

Another unwanted sight

Another unwanted sight

“It wasn’t until later after I talked him into getting a drink at Koda next door that Yuri told me what he saw: a vision of what every Bushwickian would look like with their tattoos as olds. Apparently it was a real inky sag fest.” After coming to terms with what he had seen, Spoonbender began a crusade against tattoo shops throughout the neighborhood, Gnostic and Morning Star being chief among them. “If I can stop more people from getting tattoos in Bushwick, I know I will have done my part to make the area a prettier place in the future.”

Written by Genna Rivieccio, future ink sagger

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