Chola-Themed Picnic in Honor of Cinco de Mayo at Maria Hernandez Park Invokes Outrage

May 5, 2015 Comments Off on Chola-Themed Picnic in Honor of Cinco de Mayo at Maria Hernandez Park Invokes Outrage 2897 Drugs, News
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Sometimes, (white) people just don’t know when to stop in terms of what and what is not appropriate in terms of cultural appropriation. The latest case in point has been a Bushwickian celebration of Cinco de Mayo, alternately known as Mexican St. Patrick’s Day.

Thus far, Lana Del Rey has been the only white woman accepted by the chola community

Thus far, Lana Del Rey has been the only white woman accepted by the chola community

he event, organized by Janet Chula Vista, a 24-year-old who is a fourth generation Mexican, was dubbed Cinco de Chola and promised bottomless margaritas, a sombrero that would be fused to your head for the duration of the party (ensuring sluts would dress to optimum sluttery in order to overcompensate for it) and a piñata in the shape of Charo that would be filled with alcohol bottles instead of candy.

Just one of many angered cholas enraged by Cinco de Chola

Just one of many angered cholas enraged by Cinco de Chola

Needless to say, there were a lot of head injuries and a lot of hurt feelings in the aftermath. Fortunata Maldonado even momentarily woke up from her coma to say, “Thanks for continuing to remind me why I choose to stay in a coma. You are all a disgrace to Mexicans. And I’m Dominican.” The party was summarily shut down by local police after one partier suffered a gunshot wound from a gang member, prompting Maria Hernandez to be resurrected our of ire once again.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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