Christian Fundamentalist Owners Replace Management at Former Nazi Coffee Shop

April 22, 2015 2 2469 Local Business, News
Share!

If you were worried about the neo-Nazi swell in this town thanks to The Bushwick Coffee Shop, fear religious persecution no more–or at least embrace a subtler kind of religious persecution instead. Ousting the scary, cantankerous manager who once called Jewish denizens “greedy infiltrators,” owners Guillaume Painamour and Jenny-Lee Morningstar have re-branded the coffee shop as Countryside–you know, “for love of God and country,” as Morningstar put it.

Cozy interior of Countryside

Cozy interior of Countryside

“What vee aim to do here at Countryside is show people that God accepts you even if you are a caffeine-guzzling, sin-loving Bushwickian. There eez no judgment here. Just good coffee and a complementary Bible at every table,” explained Painamour as he stenciled in a quote from the Book of Job on the wall. Morningstar noted of this, “We think the residents around here are a lot like Job. Just foolhardy kids lookin’ for someone to blame for their problems. He was kind of like a prehistoric entitled white boy if you think about it.”

Coffee: check, Bible: check. What more does a Bushwickian need?

Coffee: check, Bible: check. What more does a Bushwickian need?

Best of all, Painamour and Morningstar will be holding a Bible study night every Tuesday, during which writers and artists alike can bring their own interpretations and re-workings of Biblical scriptures to the (coffee) table. “We think an interactive, creative spin on things is just what the Bible needs to get our customers excited about it.” Countryside is located at 203 Wilson Avenue and opens at 7 a.m., prime God-loving hour.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

2 Comments