Chronic Facebook Event RSVPer Banned From Bushwick Events

April 28, 2014 Comments Off on Chronic Facebook Event RSVPer Banned From Bushwick Events 681 Hipster Commentary, News, Politics
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We all know the type: The asshole who RSVPs to an event with no intention of showing up. Or worse, the asshole who puts him or herself down as a “maybe.” For Michael Sintax, such an existence was just a normal part of everyday life–until he was finally banned for good.

Sintax was incapable of making a concrete decision

Sintax was incapable of making a concrete decision

Sintax came up in the scene as a figurine maker with a specialty in re-creating balloon twisters. At first, his chronic RSVPing seemed innocent enough. He had every intention of going, but his “work just kept getting in the way.” But when Sintax quickly caught on that he could pass himself off as having attended an event by using stock phrases like “The PBR wasn’t even cold” or “His style is so derivative,” Sintax became hooked on RSVPing without making good on the tacit Facebook agreement every time you hit “Join.”

The many events Sintax will never attend

The many events Sintax will never attend

An anonymous friend stated, “He wanted to make it seem more like he was on the scene–without actually having to put in the face time.” Indeed, for awhile Sintax appeared to be everywhere, when, in fact, he was nowhere. Finally, Randall Dealmaker, a promoter for Esoteric Art Gallery caught on to his scam. 

The last event Sintax ever RSVP'd for

The last event Sintax ever RSVP’d for

Dealmaker spoke to The Burning Bush in a furious rage, so furious that the only intelligible quote was, “Show up when you RSVP goddammit!” In an amazing social coup de grace, Dealmaker has managed to get Sintax blacklisted from every important invite list. When The Burning Bush attempted to contact Sintax for a comment, our email inbox turned up with nothing more than a picture of a crestfallen looking figurine. 

Sintax's email response

Sintax’s email response

As something of a cautionary tale for all faux RSVPers in the artist community, Sintax may never be seen again–not that he ever really was in the first place.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

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