Cobra Club to Absorb Gay Energy From Tandem In Wake of Closure

October 22, 2015 2 1307 Bars, News
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With the freshly released news that Tandem will not be joining Bushwick in its new generation of frivolousness, it’s been left up to Cobra Club to absorb all the residual gayness of a bar that catered to the musical sensibilities of Bushwick’s most beautiful twinks. However, being that Cobra Club was (and often remains) host to the majority of the neighborhood’s lesbians, it’s likely that there could be some conflict with its new role.

This man will now have to go to Cobra Club

This man will now have to go to Cobra Club

“Admittedly, we’re a little concerned about the new clientele that’s going to be trickling in,” said Cobra Club bar manager Fanny Hohle, a 36-year-old and former vaudevillian back in the 90s. “We know there’s going to be a lot of, um, tastes colliding–especially when it comes to agreeing on a certain kind of music.”

Lesbians are already getting territorial

Lesbians are already getting territorial

Regular bar goers of a lesbian bent have already noticed the change and aren’t taking too kindly to it. “This bar has been our place for years. You can’t go anywhere else to hear k.d. lang or Kate Bush all in the same night. And now that’s disappearing. They played mostly Culture Club and Pet Shop Boys the other day, for example. Soon, I’m going to have to start going to the Cubby Hole in the city again,” complained Betsey Fallopia, a 43-year-old in publishing. And so the question remains: will it be a peaceful merger between the two sexualities–or a period bloodbath?

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

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