Color Me Infantile: A Shocking New Trend in Bushwick Bars

June 23, 2014 Comments Off on Color Me Infantile: A Shocking New Trend in Bushwick Bars 1106 Bars, bars in bushwick, News
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The latest bar craze? Coloring. Perhaps due to the Bushwick population’s naturally regressive tendencies, coloring has infiltrated practically every local bar in town. Bartenders have taken to laying out coloring books on the countertops, only to have them filled in within seconds. In fact, the fervor of the trend has prompted many local 99 cent stores to run out of their supply of coloring books–setting off an alarming shortage.

A rare empty page in one of Bushwick's most popular coloring books

A rare empty page in one of Bushwick’s most popular coloring books

A bartender at Heavy Woods, Julie Hefty, remarked, “I can’t keep up with our patrons’ coloring book needs on our busier nights. Sometimes I have to make my bar back, Juanjo, run out up to three times to the 99 cent store–or I’ll even have him check if Key Food happens to randomly have one.” The Burning Bush also tried to talk to a few of what are being referred to as “crayonheads,” though it was difficult to get anything out of them other than, “Must…color…in…lines.” We’re thinking this means it’s part of some sort of drinking game.

The coloring obsessed are known on the scene as crayonheads

The coloring obsessed are known on the scene as crayonheads

Other crayonheads prefer to be reckless, not only coloring outside the lines, but also creating¬†their own drawings on the page. The horror! We’re not sure when or if this trend is going to die down, but it’s definitely going to mirror the straw shortage we reported on in May. And we all know once Bushwickians don’t have access to something, they want it even more. Prepare for the coloring riots of 2014.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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