Combination Bakery/Candy Shop Unironically Warns Patrons of Razor Blades Baked in to Products

October 31, 2015 2 386 News
Share!

While most Bushwickians do everything for a sense of irony, one local bakery/candy shop (it’s all about fusion businesses, you see) has taken a very literal stance on the old fear moms in the 70s and 80s had about razor blades being put in to any of the candy or baked goods passed out to their children.

Beware

Beware

The owner of Fatso, Martin Nointent, a 33-year-old from London (think Bradley Cooper in Burnt), told The Burning Bush, “There’s not really any reason why I’m doing it…maybe it’s to prove that most people will still buy and eat the candy or baked good with the knowledge of what’s inside it. Maybe it’s my human experiment, conducted to prove how stupid people are, and how skeptical of the truth.”

Classic apples will also be for sale

Classic apples will also be for sale

And it’s true, many patrons are excited to test out the new products, in disbelief that Fatso would ever actually go through with it. “Na man, it’s just¬†talk. I’m gonna buy a dozen cookies and eat them all under a minute, just to show that dude I’m not a pussy–I ain’t afraid of idle threats,” remarked Daryl Fuqqed, a 25-year-old who is unemployed. The Halloween only event starts bright and early at 6:30 a.m. this morning, but just know this taste of sugary goodness could be your last. Then again, who doesn’t want to die on Halloween–especially if it gets you out of wearing your pizza rat costume?

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

 

2 Comments