As The Burning Bush previously reported, the city of Detroit has been funneling plenty of money into an advertising campaign designed to lure Bushwickians into moving away from their pricey neighborhood in favor of the similar (but much more affordable) dilapidated aesthetic of Detroit.
With each adjustment to the billboard, more details about the nature of the campaign have been revealed. The latest edition, according to Greg Tantalyse, the commissioner of the Detroit Board of Tricking People Into Moving Because of How Fucking Cheap It Is, is specifically for a new Thai restaurant on Michigan Avenue (get it, ’cause Detroit is in Michigan?). Tantalyse stated, “With the high concentration of servers in Bushwick vying for multiple jobs just to make ends meet, we thought it only natural to target this audience with the appeal of the much less competitive restaurant industry in Detroit.”
Tony Chancejumper, a 26-year-old who works at Hops & Hocks by day and Dear Bushwick by night, confirmed his plans to work at Katoi to The Burning Bush. “They’re offering me just as much money to work there as I’m making here in Bushwick with two jobs. Obviously I accepted the offer. I also hear the girls in Detroit are pretty hot, and there’s more than two fucking strip clubs to choose from. Plus, I might try to bang Madonna‘s daughter while I’m there.” Email Katoi regarding job opportunities while you still can, because it looks like Detroit is fast becoming Bushwick Part Deux.
Written by Genna Rivieccio