Discovery of New STD Traced to Bushwick

July 27, 2014 4 1009 Bars, News, Sexuality

Now that the abstinence trend has been played, Bushwick is back to its old ways of debauched sexual experimentation. To seamlessly coincide with the event, a 25-year-old medical researcher at Johns Hopkins University named Neva Laid recently discovered a new form of sexually transmitted disease that she’s dubbed BS (Bushwick Syndrome).

Condoms ain't gonna save your from getting BS

Condoms ain’t gonna save your from getting BS

After visiting the popular neighborhood and staying at New York Loft Hostel, Laid returned to Baltimore and immediately started experiencing some strange symptoms, some of which included an expanding vaginal hole and anal discharge. She began conducting research on her own fluids in an avid attempt to claim vindication on the place that literally and figuratively fucked her. With an STD that puts Bushwick on blast for its grossness, having sex with randos could prove a greater challenge for awhile.

Written by Genna Rivieccio