When it comes to the drug market in Bushwick, dealers are always looking for a competitive edge. And there’s no better way to be competitive than offering a lower rate for a higher quantity. The best way to do that? Sell fake cocaine to easily preyed upon drunk people via the bountiful amounts of snow chunks out on the streets right now.
Grim Deelitez, one of area dealers who most shrewdly capitalizes on the outsider to the neighborhood market, commented, “If anything, it’s beneficial to both me and the customer. I’m helping their health while they still think they’re getting high, and I’m getting a little extra dough to pay child support for my ten kids scattered across Knickerbocker Avenue.”
Though some Bushwickians will undeniably be more than a little vexed to learn that they’ve spent mommy and daddy’s hard-earned money on something that isn’t actually bad for them (their brain cells are already frozen anyway, you see?), one local psychologist, Dr. Barnabas Barnes, insisted, “If they truly believe the snow is cocaine, then it will become cocaine. It’s all about what the mind believes.” In that case, I believe I don’t live in Bushwick.
Written by Genna Rivieccio