Drunk People Formerly Reliant on Bushwick Pita Palace for Late Night Delivery Lose Weight While Restaurant Is Closed for Renovation

July 10, 2017 0 107 News

Considering this is supposed to be the city that never sleeps, it comes as somewhat of a disappointment that Bushwick has so few late night options to quell certain drunken episodes driven by unexpected and raging bouts of hunger. One of those options is–or was–Bushwick Pita Palace.

Under construction

But perhaps a surfeit of rat corpses in the basement prompted a need for renovation–even though the only way to truly get rid of such vermin is to blow up the entire building and start all over again. Hence, its closure of late has spurred a palpable sadness in the area that tends to be enveloped by the sinister energy of the McKibbin.

Its former glory

“I really counted on that menu for my eleven o’ clock cravings. It gave me the rejuvenation I needed, prepared me for the morning ahead. Now I just sit in my living room staring at the TV screen thinking about eating my hand like Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club,” rued Sarah Hofame, a 33-year-old who drinks nightly to cleanse herself of working in Midwood at A.J. Madison. The one positive effect, however–in spite of hangovers being felt more intensely than ever–is that it’s caused at least 71% of Bushwickians off the Montrose and Grand stops to lose as much as five pounds since the restaurant’s closure. And just in time for summer, too.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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