As if getting into a restaurant for brunch isn’t enough of a challenge already, the morning after Halloween proved to be an unprecedented challenge for Bushwickians attempting to cure their hangovers with more alcohol and assorted breakfast possibilities. Almost like watching some sort of zombie apocalypse, the streets of Bushwick were riddled with people trolling the areas for any restaurants that didn’t have more than an hour wait to get in. Some people even got so desperate that they trekked all the way to Ridgewood.
The Burning Bush was able to pin down one comment from a semi-coherent aspiring bruncher named Horatio Bacone, a 28-year-old who mixed drinks the night before, in addition to his molly and cocaine combinations. “I…need…food. Now,” asserted Bacone. Many others echoed the same sentiment, grunt-chanting, “Food, food, food.” And yet, to no avail. Average brunch wait times proceeded to be one to two hours for the entirety of the day.
While a number of Bushwickians decided to get resourceful and actually make their own brunches with assorted ingredients like bananas and a smidgen of the random flour they had in their cabinets, most were left helpless–paralyzed by their own debilitating hunger–thanks to the long waits. This tragedy resulted in a day-long famine that took the lives of not one but three people, all drunkorexics to begin with.
Written by Genna Rivieccio