If you aren’t stepping in dog shit one minute or getting your leg pissed on because it’s mistaken for a tree the next, then you’ve probably found yourself in an area that’s using Englishwoman Emma Politesse as their dog walker. The 33-year-old Brit found herself in Bushwick after her husband of twenty-one years got drunk one night and told her that the only reason he had moved them to New York in the first place was so he could have it off with his Bushwick-residing mistress on the regular (the name of said mistress remains undisclosed, but we’re pretty sure it’s Moonchild Von Rogg).
Politesse took her pain and channeled it into her passion: animals. Not only does she dig canines (maybe a little too much if you know what we mean), but she also offers pet sitting services for all other varieties of furry and not so furry friends, even ocelots. Seeing an untapped niche for non-degrading dog walking that gets right to the fecal matter, Politesse has developed her own formula she gives dogs before every walk that makes their shit disintegrate the second it touches concrete. Now what could be more refined than not having to pick up another being’s excrement? Single-handedly changing the game for what it means to be a dog walker, Politesse has already expanded her business to other parts of Brooklyn.
Services for Politesse’s most basic dog walk, which includes a lap around Maria Hernandez Park, start at $150 an hour. The comprehensive walk also includes your specific dog walker teaching your pet commands in other languages so as to promote worldliness. With hands-on methods like these, it’s no wonder more people in Bushwick are getting dogs (and showing up to bars with them).
Written by Genna Rivieccio