Evergreen Can’t Get Gentrified Because Entire Street Is Haunted

August 18, 2014 6 1576 Gentrification, News, Real Estate

Bushwick may very well be the most haunted part of Brooklyn, what with Maria Hernandez Park and that ominous church condo that’s ever closer to completion, but there is one particularly disturbing stretch of land in the neighborhood: that point from Evergreen Avenue to George Street that’s utterly desolate. The Burning Bush took it upon ourselves to investigate why the area is one of the last to achieve gentrification. The answer we found was somewhat disturbing. 

Utter industrial wasteland

Utter industrial wasteland

Back in the 1500s, when Bushwick was nothing more than a giant tumbleweed, Native Americans populated what was then known as Evergreen Trail. This soil-rich patch of land grew everything the tribe known as Priheepster needed to stay fortified and content. But with the advent of white men dressed eerily the way most millennials dress today, the Priheepster tribe was gradually ousted out of Evergreen Trail, which soon after became Evergreen Avenue.

Leader of the Priheepster tribe, Nocellphone

Leader of the Priheepster tribe, Nocellphone

The leader of the tribe, Nocellphone, led his people deeper into Brooklyn (a familiar pattern indeed), but not before enjoining them to put a hex on the street to prevent white men from building on it. They also felt the need to put an arbitrary curse on the property where Tutu’s now rests

Mondo trucks are the only things you'll find on Evergreen, apart from the occasional syringe

Mondo trucks are the only things you’ll find on Evergreen, apart from the occasional syringe

And so it has remained to this day that gentrification is an impossibility on Evergreen. Sometimes, when you walk down the street late at night, you can even hear the tribe’s faint chants of “Bushwick is ours forever.” It’s quite terrifying, especially if you’ve just taken salvia. 

Written by Genna Rivieccio