Everyone Who’s Anyone Has An Exotic Pet

July 13, 2014 3 1482 Hipster Commentary

For any Bushwick worth his weight in voguishness, having an exotic pet is an absolute must. Gone are the days of being able to have simply a “dog” or “cat.” Such species are far too quaint for anyone who wants to show off how fashionable he is in the animal kingdom known as Bushwick. That’s why the monomania of the moment is owning an ocelot. If you don’t have one, you might as well be a suburbanite.

The only pet to own

The only pet to own

Because of the increase in the demand for this exotic animal, the average price has skyrocketed from $15,000 to $30,000, with a heavy presence on the black market. There’s also been a surge in ocelot thefts near the McKibbin, where the competition to own one is particularly fierce. So if you’re broke and not particularly crafty, The Burning Bush suggests picking up a jackal or a porcupine in one of the random field areas still left in Brooklyn. At least it’s better than telling people you own a calico.

Written by Genna Rivieccio