Falling Off Roofs Is Officially A Drunk Person’s Trend

September 20, 2015 Comments Off on Falling Off Roofs Is Officially A Drunk Person’s Trend 643 News
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Earlier this year, The Burning Bush reported on an incident involving Therese Fouler, who was partying a little too hard on the rooftop of Coagulate and ended up falling on to the building next door. No such instances of drunken injuries have been recorded since, until the other night when a party on the roof of La Bouche got out of hand.

Falling off

Falling off

The revelry, instigated in honor of someone’s thirtieth birthday/impending funeral, was cut short when two people, Lisa Needzit and Ned Giver, secreted away to engage in a bit of drunk fucking, and ended up overshooting (no sperm allusion intended) where a wall was and taking a nasty tumble all the way down–precisely thirty-five stories.

Lisa, after the tumble

Lisa, after the tumble

While Ned has remained in critical condition, Lisa came out of her coma long enough to caution, “Don’t have drunk sex on a roof unless you’re damn sure you’re going to get an orgasm. Otherwise, it’s just not worth it.” While two instances of drunk roof injuries are not quite a trend, The Burning Bush can smell a pattern in the air.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

 

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