Fearing For The Threat of Its Lifestyle, Bushwick Defects From U.S.

November 9, 2016 Comments Off on Fearing For The Threat of Its Lifestyle, Bushwick Defects From U.S. 421 News, Politics
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There is no town in New York City quite as fond of fun and debauchery as Bushwick. And while Donald Trump tried to cajole its residents into voting for him with the presence of kegs at various polling stations throughout the neighborhood, Bushwick wasn’t havin’ it–was, in fact, convinced that Hillary would be its next president.

It's about to secede

It’s about to secede

“It was bad enough we had to surrender Bernie Sanders and let Hillary step in, but this is insufferable and we’re not going to stand for it,” declared the head of the Committee of Bushwick Secession from the United States, Melinda Magica, a 34-year-old who still has key parties in her apartment on Knickerbocker Avenue.

They're all about to walk out

They’re all about to walk out

It is thus that Bushwick has begun to gird its borders from any outside infiltration as it establishes how it can build its own wall to keep any absurd laws enforced by Trump from seeping into its confines. If you’re planning to come back from your shittatay job in the city today, don’t bother–you’ve been locked out. Bushwick is now, more intensely so, a world unto itself.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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