Flock of Mothers Escorted Away from Drunk Brunch After Visiting Their Spawn in Bushwick

May 12, 2014 4 2000 News
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As Bushwick becomes evermore gentrified, it’s only natural that white kids’ mothers are more inclined to visit them in their “safer” neighborhood. This Mother’s Day saw droves of mid-30 to 60-year-olds flock to Bushwick to be with their progeny. The hottest spot on the block seemed to be Tandem, a restaurant/bar that has become decidedly more mother-friendly in the day when it’s not an unofficial gay bar at night.

Tandem was left deserted after a flock of mother's drank too much and had to flee back to Williamsburg in order to cope

Tandem was left deserted after a flock of mother’s drank too much and had to flee back to Williamsburg in order to cope

The Burning Bush was at the scene when hordes of mothers seemed to reach the same exact point of wastedness from too many mimosas and/or Bloody Marys. A son of one of the mothers, Gary Oedipus, commented on the aftermath. “It was almost as though I could see that these moms were all about to barf at the same time if we as their children didn’t get them off the premises immediately.”

One mom tried to cope by downing coffee to negate her alcohol consumption.

One mom tried to cope by downing coffee to negate her alcohol consumption.

No word on whether the potency of Tandem’s (or Bushwick’s in general) alcohol is what led to the sudden bout of extreme drunkenness–as most of these mothers are used to a Williamsburg-caliber watered down supply–but The Burning Bush suspects there’s more than meets the eye to this peculiar incident. In any case, Happy Mother’s Day! That goes for anyone who’s had an abortion, too.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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