Flowers for All Occasions Instilling Its Patrons With Constant Déjà Vu

February 25, 2017 Comments Off on Flowers for All Occasions Instilling Its Patrons With Constant Déjà Vu 239 Bars

If you’re a frequenter of Flowers for All Occasions off the Kosciuszko Street J, you may also be suffering from the same symptoms of déjà vu as many of its other patrons have been reporting to local authorities as they stumble out of the disorienting establishment.

This camp aesthetic is all too familiar

“It isn’t about getting drunk, which is kind of hard to do there on their low alcohol percent beer and wine,” explained Tex Waco, a 29-year-old who lives in a crawl space where Athom pastry shop used to be on Broadway. “It’s about this overpowering sense of familiarity that no one can quite put their finger on.”

It’s all too familiar

As the symptoms have intensified to the point of customers expressing extreme fear of entering the space because of not being able to pinpoint what exactly is so damn familiar, The Burning Bush is calling for any information regarding why this might be. “I get too tripped out when I’m in there brah, I just can’t. I need to know what it reminds me of,” stated California transplant Trevor Manga, a successful entrepreneur with his pineapple sex wax business in Rockaway. Wait a minute–this just in–The Burning Bush has at last confirmed why Flowers For All Occasions causes so much overpowering déjà vu: it’s owned by the same people as Happy Fun Hideaway.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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