Four Loko’s renaissance in 2010 (though it was first released in 2005) was sadly brought to an abrupt halt when
concerned citizens teetotaling oppressors decided to ban the original formula and replace it with a watered down version that’s less than the beauteous 12% alcohol by volume it used to have in its prime. But Bushwickians are now being presented with a unique and expensive opportunity to get a taste of the old formula with average prices for a can starting at $500.
After the popularity of aged Four Loko being sold speakeasy-style at select bodegas, local bars have taken the hint at the potential for increased profits by establishing rotating passwords for those in the know addicted enough to the beverage to find out said secret code. The private reserve selection is, in fact, so secret, we can’t even tell you which bars they’re being served at.
What we can tell you is that the highest concentration of new-fangled Four Loko speakeasies are located off the Central and Knickerbocker M stops. Considering there are still so few bars in this neck of the Bushwick woods, we’re confident in your ability to do some accurate guesswork.
A former and now continuing Four Loko addict, Lana Midwest, salivated, “I’ve been to every bar with Four Loko and sucked most of them dry. I can’t get enough of the private reserve–until I do and I black out.” So far, local government has yet to intervene, but if blackouts reach anywhere near the fever pitch they did in 2010, these faux speakeasies could be in for a rude awakening.
Written by Genna Rivieccio